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Monday, January 9, 2012

Not Quite Cancer, But Close Enough...

So...as some may know, the title of this blog came from being young, dumb, and very much involved in the "party scene." When I say "party scene," I mean drinking excessively, smoking packs and packs of cigarettes, making dumb decisions that could lead to your own or someone else's demise...basically about being in your twenties. Well, well, it seems that a very passionate party girl, yours truly, has had to cut the partying out as of two weeks ago. No, no, I don't have cancer, but it's close enough.

I went to the doctor to have a check up. Basically I had a sensation of something being stuck in my throat. I also had abdominal pain that became worse with drinking soda or alcohol. After running a few tests, my doctor informed me that not only do I have a peptic ulcer, but I also have nodules on my vocal chords. That's right. Nodules on my vocal chords caused by...vocal abuse. If you're not sure what that means, it's basically from being a loud mouth and smoking like a chimney. Because of this, I've had to quit drinking alcohol and soda, quit smoking (easier said than done,) and change my diet drastically all while taking medication to cure the ulcer.

My nodules? Well, I guess I was doomed at birth. All the women in my family are extremely loud, and for some reason, a good majority smoke. But I'm the only one with fucking nodules. Anyway, my doc said that if behavioral intervention doesn't work then I'll have to have surgery to remove the nodules. Which it's looking like the latter since I haven't had any relief.

So there you have it. 23 years old living life how I want to, and I have an ulcer and nodules. Next thing you know, it will be cancer. You see where I'm going with this?