Not Quite Cancer, But Close Enough...

So...as some may know, the title of this blog came from being young, dumb, and very much involved in the "party scene." When I say "party scene," I mean drinking excessively, smoking packs and packs of cigarettes, making dumb decisions that could lead to your own or someone else's demise...basically about being in your twenties. Well, well, it seems that a very passionate party girl, yours truly, has had to cut the partying out as of two weeks ago. No, no, I don't have cancer, but it's close enough.

I went to the doctor to have a check up. Basically I had a sensation of something being stuck in my throat. I also had abdominal pain that became worse with drinking soda or alcohol. After running a few tests, my doctor informed me that not only do I have a peptic ulcer, but I also have nodules on my vocal chords. That's right. Nodules on my vocal chords caused by...vocal abuse. If you're not sure what that means, it's basically from being a loud mouth and smoking like a chimney. Because of this, I've had to quit drinking alcohol and soda, quit smoking (easier said than done,) and change my diet drastically all while taking medication to cure the ulcer.

My nodules? Well, I guess I was doomed at birth. All the women in my family are extremely loud, and for some reason, a good majority smoke. But I'm the only one with fucking nodules. Anyway, my doc said that if behavioral intervention doesn't work then I'll have to have surgery to remove the nodules. Which it's looking like the latter since I haven't had any relief.

So there you have it. 23 years old living life how I want to, and I have an ulcer and nodules. Next thing you know, it will be cancer. You see where I'm going with this?

The Endless Summer

Listening to: Crazy Little Thing Called Love...over, and over, and over again.

Date: 23 June 2011

Time: 9:41 am

Location: Columbia, MO...My sister's couch to be exact.

I've been awake since midnight. Since moving to Missouri, I've been suffering from insomnia. It's strange considering the fact that I used to never have problems sleeping. I could sleep anywhere, anytime, for however long I wanted to. I once slept for twenty hours straight. Since moving to Missouri nearly a month ago, my sleep cycle has been ass backwards and almost non-existent. I blamed the alcohol for my insomnia. Most people sleep like the dead when they're drunk. Not I. It's nearly impossible for me to sleep when I'm drunk. Since moving to Columbia, my alcohol intake has increased drastically. Why wouldn't it? I moved from Florida to Missouri. And I don't just blame that. For anyone who doesn't know, Columbia is a college town. These people are on a whole different level of partying. Anyway, three days ago, I cut alcohol out of my diet in an attempt to regulate my sleep schedule, and it worked for...one day. Soon after, I was prescribed prednisone and a z pack for this ongoing problem with my throat. For the past two months, I've felt something lodged in my throat making it hard for me to swallow. I'm convince it's throat cancer, but the doctor wants to rule out infection. Yeah, doc, I've had a bacterial infection for two months straight without any other symptoms. Go blow yourself. Whatever, I'll be the guinea pig. I just hope that no one finds it inappropriate for the words "I Told You I Was Sick" to be posted on my gravestone. Anyway, I'm on this medication that makes me UNNATURALLY tired, so of course, my sleep schedule is fucked once more. So on top of dying from throat cancer, battling insomnia, then battling these bullshit meds to try and stay awake, attempting to earn money as a waitress who only gets two shifts a week...blah, blah, blah...this is going to be a long summer.

I'm starting this blog to write about my experience in Columbia, Missouri for the summer. So far, not a lot has happened. That's why I'm writing this blog. So I don't lose my FUCKING MIND!!! Also, not only will I be posting my experience with a whole new breed of human being, I will be posting short stories I've written, articles I find interesting, fuming about the world. Sounds like fun, right? No, not really for you. For me, it's how I'm going to survive the summer.